How to Negotiate Your Best Deal!

­­­­­Negotiate your best deal

 

As you return to your vehicle, you feel the stirring deep within you, “This is the home I have been dreaming about… I want to buy it!”

 

The very next feeling could be described as a tremor of fear, stemming from the next question, “How much should I pay for it?”

 

For some, the rush of adrenaline is excitement and joy. Some people feed off of the thrill of the negotiation. They love auctions, pawn shops, garage sales, and even the proverbial used car salesman is viewed as a challenger to be defeated, with the single goal – “get the best deal.”

 

I personally am one of these people. It doesn’t matter whether it is a $10 deal or a $100,000 transaction, the price isn’t the concern. I just want to walk away from a deal with the prideful feeling of, “I got the best deal I was going to be able to negotiate.”

 

The pressure of an impending negotiation sends others into the panic of fear – fight, flight, or freeze. The wave of questions seems to crash on the rocks, only to have the next wave come bigger and even more daunting. Negotiation can be a dreadful and nauseous task.

 

Let’s take some of the sting out of the negotiation process by using these reachable strategies.

 

First, be knowledgeable. Gain as much information as you can to build confidence. This is where the real estate agent can be incredibly helpful. The agent can offer insights about the local and current market conditions. The agent’s job is to guide the client through the process by, knowing the best professionals, identifying the smoothest pathway, avoiding common mistakes, and how to advocate for the client’s best interest.

 

Learn about the condition of the property. Consider the value of the amenities added and note the potential deficiencies, which will need repaired or removed. Are there other potential buyer’s which make this a competitive offer situation or is the property a good candidate for a below market proposal. Information is easily translated into realistic value.

 

Second, be reasonable. One of the most common strategies used in the real estate purchase is for the seller to set the price high enough for some “wiggle room”.  The expected response is for the buyer to offer low to hopefully negotiate a desired outcome.

 

The “low-ball offer” is not always the best approach.  If the seller quickly accepts your “low-ball offer”, they may be relieved to get rid of the property and you are about to learn why. The “low-ball offer” may also be perceived by the seller that the buyer created a list of problems and deficiencies, used to drive the price downward. Keep in mind, the seller has the highest perception of what the home is worth, overlooking the reality and highlighting the potential.

 

The seller may become defensive and resistant and stiffen his resolve, rather than giving in and being flexible and cooperative.

 

The third deliberation is to be creative. True value can be measured in more ways than dollars alone. People can have sentimental values attached to the property. This is where their children were raised, a planted tree can have deep emotional attachments, symbolic colors or shapes may go unnoticed by a fleeting glance. There can be potential value of what it can be as seen by the artistic imagination. Special needs may be driving the decision; can the home be made handicap accessible, is there a safe place for the children to play, is the promise of an unmatched view with wildlife beneficial or detrimental?

 

Look for alternatives to cash and price by identifying time, influence, and meeting other’s needs to accomplish your own wins.

 

A healthy negotiation can be a bridge-builder to win-win outcomes. Move away from competitive stances and seek cooperation to negotiate your best deal.

 

 

 

About the author:

Terry W. Petty has a Master of Arts: Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding. He is a Certified Professional Mediator and he is a licensed real estate agent with Team Idaho Real Estate, Moscow, ID.

Hope for a Tree

“HOPE FOR A TREE”

Sermon by: Rev. Terry W. Petty

Text: Job 14: 1-17

Introduction: Story background and setting in context.

THE BOOK AND LIFE OF JOB:

This writing is traditionally thought to be the oldest of all of the written Scriptures, even pre-dating Genesis. There is no mention of Israel, a temple, prophets or kings, so the setting would be before Abraham or Moses.

Job lived in the “land of Uz.” No one knows where Uz was.

Job was “blameless and upright.” (1:1) Blameless does not mean “sinless.” Blameless means, no matter how horrible the sin, all of the charges have been dropped. There is no one to accuse or lay blame. “Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him.” (Psalms 32:2)

Satan went before God and asked, “Does Job fear God for nothing?” The Lord answered, ¹² The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.” (Job 1:12)

Job received a message: Your oxen and donkeys are gone. You sheep and servants are dead. Your camels have been stolen. A windstorm has killed your sons and daughters. “In this Job did not charge God with wrongdoing.” (Job 1:22)

Job was covered in sores, like boils, that covered his body from head to toe. Because of his illness, Job was isolated from the community and he was left alone at the dump… taking pieces of broken pottery and lancing his infectious sores which were becoming infested with flies laying their eggs in his sores and giving birth to larva or worms beneath his skin. (Job 2)

Job’s wife encouraged him, “Curse God and die!” (2:9) Some have harshly criticized Job’s wife for the circumstances. We must keep in mind, she was in the midst of her own grief and despair. She honestly believed, at that moment, dying would be better than living with the loss. So, we would be good to extend to her compassion and sympathy, rather than accusation and guilt.

Job had 3 close friends who came to sympathize and comfort him; Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar. For seven days and nights his friends never left his side. They said “nothing” to him. Sometimes even the best of words fall short and silence is the only source of comfort.

Eliphaz tried to console with reason. “You have helped others, but now that you are in trouble you aren’t using the advice you gave to others.” (Job 4)

Bildad used a theological approach. “This is punishment and the result of sin in your life. If you will seek God and plead with the Almighty, then God will restore your prosperity.” (Job 8)

Zophar attacked Job for his character flaws. “This has happened because you are full of pride. Worship and praise is the way out of your troubles. Just forget the past and move on.” (Job 11)

Even the closest of friends may give well-intentioned and faulty advice.

Job describes his humanness; he suffered and groaned, he questioned and doubted, he fell into a deep depression, and yet he refused to quit believing.

While Job was still sick, in pain, and isolated from the community, truly he faced an impossible situation. He wrote of his struggles.

 

Purpose of Job’s writing.

JOB WAS LOSING HOPE.

He was striving to understand the FINALITY OF DEATH, and asking questions about ETERNITY.

His thought was “to die was better than this illness. At least, it would finally be over…” Yet, Job is not convinced that after he died, there would be a resurrection or life beyond. “When you are dead, you are dead” is all he knew to believe.

READ TEXT: JOB 14: 1-6

14 “Mortals, born of woman,
are of few days and full of trouble.
² They spring up like flowers and wither away;
like fleeting shadows, they do not endure.
³ Do you fix your eye on them?
Will you bring them^[a] before you for judgment?
⁴ Who can bring what is pure from the impure?
No one!
⁵ A person’s days are determined;
you have decreed the number of his months
and have set limits he cannot exceed.
⁶ So look away from him and let him alone,
till he has put in his time like a hired laborer.

THE SOURCE OF HOPELESSNESS: Hopelessness results from breakdowns in one of these three areas of need:

1. Alienated individuals feel as if they have been cut loose, no longer deemed worthy of love, care, or support. In turn, the abandoned tend to close themselves off, fearing further pain and rejection. “I am all alone.” “No one understands.” Loneliness is a powerful enemy.

Elijah said it as well, “I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” (1 Kings 19.10)

2.      POWERLESS.   Individuals need to believe they can have purpose and make a difference in this life. Helpless individuals no longer believe that they can live safely in the world. They feel exposed and vulnerable.

When the struggle for survival is combined with a sense of failure, individuals feel limited. They experience themselves as deficient, lacking in the right stuff to make it in the world.

3. A feeling as if there is nothing of value in the future.

Individuals weighed down by this form of despair presume that their life is over, that their death is imminent.

¹³ “If only you would hide me in the grave
and conceal me till your anger has passed!
If only you would set me a time
and then remember me!

HOPE: A CONFIDENT ANTICIPATION OF A DESIRED FUTURE.

 

            “At least there is hope for a tree….

If it is cut down, it will sprout again…

at the scent of water it will bud.” (14.7)

^“For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?” (Romans 8:24)

1. You are worthy of love, care, and support from others. You are not the only one in this life who has suffered. You are not forgotten or alone.

“Set a time for me and then remember me.” (vs. 13)

2. You do have value and purpose, a reason for being. You may get stuck focusing on what you can’t change instead of looking at the wide range of things you can change.

Even a stump can be of value to a weary traveler.

“All the days of my hard service
I will wait for my renewal^[b] to come. (vs.14)

“We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.” (Psalms 33.20)

“But is we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” (Romans 8:25)

3. You do have a future. Someday soon, the future will be the past. We must live in the present.

Even out of the hard places, we can still grow and thrive.

^“You will call and I will answer you;
you will long for the creature your hands have made.” (vs.15)

“There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.” (Proverbs 23.18)

AT LEAST THERE IS HOPE FOR A TREE….

Job had no idea he was prophesying. From the earliest of known scripture, we see implanted the promise of “the blessed hope.”

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit. (Isa 11:1)

“We wait for the blessed hope – the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.” (Titus 2:13)

What appeared to be the tree of death … would become the

TREE OF CALVARY

AND THE ANSWER TO A VICTORY OVER SIN AND DEATH.

Predicting the Future of Mediation in Idaho

In his article Predicting the Future of Mediation (Mediate.com, 2014) Peter Adler constructs a grid to envision four different futures of mediation based on the concept of “supply and demand.”

• Scenario #1. High demand for mediation / Low supply of mediators: Raise the professional expectation to compete in the competitive marketplace.
• Scenario #2. High demand for mediation / High supply of mediators: Anyone can mediate, anything. There are no “laws” dictating who can or cannot mediate.
• Scenario #3. Low demand for mediation / Low supply of mediators: Mediation is a good idea, yet will never make it to the “big leagues.” Mediation is best left to volunteers.
• Scenario #4. Low demand for mediation / High supply of mediators: Mediators can only mediate in their area of specialty and expertise.

In the short time I have been the IMA Executive Director, I have heard comments supporting each of these four possible scenarios.

One question to be considered by the IMA is to identify “Which scenario fits Idaho best?” Or can we create a multi-faceted model, which addresses all of the scenarios?

Adler goes on to say, “Mediation seems to be almost anything people want to claim it is, including me.” One of the challenges to forging a clearly articulated future of mediation rests in the difficulty of defining what mediation is, can be, or even should be.

A dictionary definition of the word “mediate” draws on two primary principles: 1) to intervene, 2) to bring about an agreement or reconciliation.

Intervention is a call to alter a result or course of events. In a therapeutic approach, an intervention is often direct and confrontational. In a mediation setting, the intervention can be passive and based on voluntary cooperation relying on self-determination by the parties.

The agreement or reconciliation is often realized by an “assisted negotiation,” by futile submission, or by a creative solution with a shared positive and self-determined outcome. A successful mediation isn’t measured by the outcome or agreement, but by the quality and effectiveness of the process.

The future of mediation in Idaho will require a wise intervening approach, combined with a creative process to give birth to a shared and self-determined outcome.

Seven Communication Guides for Mediators

Two retail workers, Lacy and Linda were in the habit of arguing several times a week. The arguments could be over nearly any topic, without consideration of the presence of customers or other co-workers. The language and intensity of the interactions were caustic, crude and abrasive, demeaning, and offensive to others. Customers stopped coming into the retail store and co-workers united to file a written complaint to the store’s manager. The manager repeatedly talked with the workers warning them, together and individually, with threats of termination. Any noticeable change was limited and short-term. Not wanting to release either employee, in desperation, the manager enlisted the help of a professional mediator, Mary. Mary’s assignment was to mediate the conflict and help the two ladies get along better.

As humans, we engage in communication every day. Even the most skillful communicators can fall into old habits, often learned in their family of origin, and say things having unintended consequences. An erratic word can enter the mind and exit the mouth, without filters. Even if the right words are chosen, the way we say – what we say can lead to misunderstanding and even harm relationships. Some people have never learned or developed healthy communication skills and propagate a perpetual circle of conflict. A skilled mediator is a communication specialist with a responsibility to guide the communication (mediation) process.

A mediator’s goal is to construct a safe environment, protecting harmful communications between emotionally charged clients. The opening scenario may be an appropriate situation for the mediator to utilize a transformational mediation approach, with the opportunity to influence long-term behavioral change. While, transformational mediation is a controversial approach, considered on the out-lying borders of traditional problem-solving mediation, the communication techniques can be useful. “The transformative approach to mediation does not seek resolution of the immediate problem, but rather, seeks the empowerment and mutual recognition of the parties involved… The parties seek to understand how they define the problem and why they seek the solution that they do.” (Bush and Folger, 1994) A mediator, as a neutral third party, can guide parties to frame their words in a positive and healthy manner, rather than allow their repeated negative and harmful behaviors.

“Seven Communication Guides for Mediators” is a model mediators can refer to, guiding the disputants to use language that promotes civility, instructs in communication techniques, and develops interpersonal communication skills. The model is based up the premise, that some words are Conciliatory Words and others are opposing and Fighting Words.

Seven Communication Guides for Mediators

Conciliatory Words                                    Fighting Words
Cooperative                                               Competitive
Respectful                                                  Contemptuous
Honest                                                        Deceitful
Clarity                                                          Vague
Agreeable                                                   Adversarial
Compromise                                              Challenge
Reflective listening                                     Making demands

A mediator can suggest that a party to reframe their statement by using Conciliatory words, rather than using the Fighting words they have practiced for a very long time. Simply having the party change the word usage can oft-times change their demeanor and improve the likelihood of an agreeable outcome.

When Mary used the model to encourage Lacy and Linda to change what they said and the way they said it, a demonstrable change not only improved the working relationship, but it also had a positive impact on the store’s profitability.